wow

Wow, what a school year and first part of the summer.  But i dont feel like writing out everything that happened in the school year, but i will say this much.  I learned one big thing during the Spring semester.  Be allowed to fall in love with the most amazing, and i mean THE MOST AMAZING girl ever, is one of the greatest priveleges God can allow us.  I thought i knew what love was between a man and a woman, but learned very quickly that it was so much more when Hope cam in to my life.  But i always learned that love isnt easy.  There are going to be obsticles, of all shapes and sizes.  You will get discouraged, pushed down, doubtful, and so much more.  But you learn to handle things with the wisdom and strength that God provides you with.  He never told us life would be easy.  The sad thing is, if life were always easy, we would probly never go to Him for anything.  Life being tough is what brings us close to God.  Or atleast thats how I look at it.  He gives us challenges to teach us, grow us, and show us that He is there, He is perfect, and He knows what He is doing.  These past 2 wks have been probably the toughest of my life.  I lost my job because i was stupid and showed up late (haha no surprise there).  Me and Hope called it quits for a little while.  I didnt get the truck i wanted, but did get a ticket, which added to my feeling like an idiot haha.  But I know God is God and I am man.  Things are really hard right now, mainly because of the Hope situation.  I know how I feel about her and I know that i still want to spend the rest of my life with her.  But I also know that if she didnt truely feel like this break, or whatever it is, needed to happen, then it wouldnt have.  I am so grateful we are still best friends though.  I really and honestly dont know what I would do without her in my life.  I know that being dependant on someone isnt good, but I think GOd gives you that one person in your life that you just need.  And i believe that Hope is that person for me.  I pray that I am the man i need to be right now and let things work out how they need to.  I know how I am, and how i am obsessive and overbearring alot of times.  But i know that she will quickly tell me haha (atleast i  HOPE she does haha).  I know that God has a plan for Hope and I.  I dont know what it is, or if it is us being together forever.  I pray it is, but God’s will be done.  It’s hard to let God take the reins out of fear, but for some reason, and i dont know if this is just me being stubborn, i feel like He will gives us that blessing of being together in the end.  I could be wrong, God only knows, either way i know me and her will always be best friends and she will always have a piece of my heart (right now she still has all of it haha).  I pray that through all of this though, that we will grow spiritually and that we will even grow in our relationship with each other.  I ask that you, whoever you may be, will pray for us, that we will allow God to do His will and we will praise Him no matter what.

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